Thread:TJlive800/@comment-4952704-20150504134101

"I agree that we should probably rewrite a ton of shit, since the other seasons have been more fleshed out and streamlined, but I don't think we need to go Extreme Makeover: Alpha Edition. But we really need to rewrite Destiny lol :D"

Disclaimer: I'm not angry, stop fucking asking. I haven't been angry in a very long time. Thank you.

If you want my complete honesty, we do need to go Extreme Makeover: Alpha Edition. I'm looking back at Alpha, through all the plans. At the time of making them, i wasn't the best writer, nor the best ideas man, and i had this thing towards Omniverse and all. Now that the times have changed, i went back and revisited stuff, and... AGH! IT HURTS! FUCK ME THIS IS TERRIBLE! No, i don't mean your stuff, you're actually saving the show. But my god this does not flow well at all. I'll explain some of it in-depth.

First off, i realize this is Ben 10 Fan Fiction, i realize that people would get the aliens and stuff. But looking at this as a person who isn't familiar with Ben 10, holy fuck this has NO explanation at all. Aliens are just there, non-chalant. The origin, i realize its been overdone, but looking at this professionally, it doesn't make jack shit of sense. Oh, and the people's reaction to aliens? THEY DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT. NO ONE IS FRIGHTENED, THEY ACT LIKE ITS NORMAL. MY GOD.

As for the villains... most of the filler is god awful, Alphamaster is so fucking bad, and Masquerade is just okay. Now, Alphamaster is all you, but we need to change everything. possibly name, powers, backstory, motivations, maybe even design. I'm gonna present my idea for Masquerade, but Alphamaster is all you, cause i got nothing. Hell, base him off of Wilson Fisk, just make him good.

I realize Masquerade is your territory, but i do have an idea. I'm basing him off of Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad, but not entirely. What i'm taking from Gus is his intelligence. Whatever plan you might have, whatever you do, wherever you run, whatever/wherever you hide, whatever you do even, he is 10 steps ahead of you. He calculated you. He analyzes you, and he will see a trap coming miles away. Think Batman but evil. And the worst part is, he OWNS you. YOU work for him, you gave him all the info about YOU.

THAT should be Masquerade. He's already a founding member of the Plumbers, he already owns a big piece of the pie. He has tabs on every member, and he owns Bradly. As General Conroy, he befriends Bradly. Now, my idea is to give him a hitlist. He's a very intelligent man, he's dangerous, menacing, and a psychopath. We introduce new characters, make the audience grow to like-- maybe even love them, or feel for them, only to be killed off by Masquerade. And the worst part of it all, no one will know when it will happen, how, and no one can trace him, ad he masks everything.

There is a pattern with the hitlist, but i'll leave that bit to you. But in his hitlist, there's innocents, Plumber higher-ups, and even criminals. And i do have an idea for one scenario. Hypothetically:

Imagine someone like Alan. He lives in a good neighborhood, he lives in a neighborhood full of nice people. Now one neighbor, he doesn't talk to the others too often, but he is generally known and noticed by. He seems very humble and nice, and very generous. A decent person in general. He takes hiss 7-year-old daughter to school every single day, he always buys her ice cream and toys, and he's very loving. He's a generally decent person and a great father. Now imagine him being killed off by Masquerade. When people investigate, he's actually a war criminal of sorts. And people never knew, no one could guess.

We could do a scenario like that. You can come up with the people on the hitlist, and how they're murdered, and the pattern, all that. He's very tricky and unpredictable, and intelligent. Why od you think he's a 2-season-long villain?

As for Alphamaster, i have a concept. He's apart of a cult, a cult that despises the Alphacarnations. He isn't the leader, the leader is generally mysterious. But Alphamaster has an army, an army of people who hate the Alphacarnations. They give Sif moral trouble and stuff, as well as Alphamaster. That means scrapping Dr. Alpha. But who is the leader of this cult? Ziegel! Ziegel A.K.A. the villain of the first half of Season 3, with the second being Nytspawn. So we build up Ziegel's cult slowly. But this is all up to you.

As for Sif and his origin... we show the origin. Now hear me out, we can say that people have seen aliens for a few months now. People know they exist, and there's a lot of panic, a lot of negativity. We can show Sif's personal life, at school, a few of his friends. But after his origin, when he becomes the Alphacarnation, that's when things have consequences. His actions, all of it, everytime he goes out, they all have consequences. That should really take a toll on Sif's personal life and this persona. We can give him a pseudonym too, kinda like Heisenberg.

Now this personal life thing, it doesn't just effect him, but his adoptive parents too. They start arguing more, and this just tears Sif's personal life apart. And soon, more specifically the season finale, he has to make the choice. Alphacarnation or Personal Life? This gives Sif the inner struggle that makes him relatable, he can't always make the right choices. He has to make sacrifices. When Tronn dies, he has to give Sif that motivational speech about this, about this inner struggle.

Chelsea is another example of this. I say we introduce her into the second half of the season. She was once a criminal, she did horrible things, she had a terrible past. She killed the person who raped her, disobeying Sif after saying that it's the wrong thing to do. She is now Sif's responsibility, they share a brother-sister mentor-mentee relationship. She's the extra boost to the inner struggle of personal life or this life. Sif has to teach her to do the right thing, to make her the better person, even a hero.

I wanna hear your in-depth thoughts. Please write me 50 paragraphs, not "okay cool". This is in no way confirmed, but we should make a bigger deal of the aliens and the Alphatrix. This is all up for revising, and i wanna hear your take. We can scrap some of this, but no way in hell are we reverting this shit back to normal. The normal one was god awful. So please, write me longer than anything you've ever wrote ever. Watch the pilot to Breaking Bad too, i wanna go for that type of origin.

Thanks. 